Mighty Buffalo vs. Trojans: Game of the Year (So Far) by Jackson Bruce in third person
A game for the ages was played the afternoon of June 6th, 2011. The Mighty Buffalo, playing their second game in franchise history, lost to the Trojans 6-4 in Jackson Bruce's Trojans debut. Cody Honeywell, the Mighty Buffalo star, pitched a complete game allowing 6 runs and getting the loss. However, he didn't give up a hit until the middle of the 3rd inning. After jumping out to a 2-0 lead after 2 innings, the Buffs were rolling. Bruce didn't have a hit until the 3rd inning. Honeywell struck out 6 in the game. Bruce was pitching for the Trojans and ended his complete game by allowing 4 runs and striking out 15 batters to earn the win. In the 5th inning, down 3-1, the Trojans stepped up, after making it 3-2, Bruce stepped up and hit a 2-run home run to make the score 4-3 in the Trojans' favor. Bruce also homered in his next at bat. In the top of the 6th, Honeywell was raging. With two outs and a few temper tantrums later, he hit a solo shot to make the score 6-4. Nathan Ellenbecker struck out looking to end the game and give the Trojans the victory.
Indicate Eight: Celebrities That Need To Play Wiffleball by Joel Jochim 5/20/11
8. Emeril Lagasse – He probably would not be outstanding fielder, but he could use a bat just like it was a crepe spatula. And who wouldn’t love to hear him shout “BAM!!” every time he hit a homer.
7. Adam Sandler – He would completely shut you down all game and then make a smart a** comment about how terrible you are at wiffleball and how his crappy movie “Click” was better than you.
6. Larry King – Seeing as how he has nothing to do now that his show is done, I feel that would make a great addition to the PWL. He would also be the best player interviewer for wiffleball in the nation.
5. Conan O’Brien – Seems like he may be an athletic guy. Great for some hilarious wise cracks here and there about how NBC screwed him. The only problem is I have no clue how he would put a baseball cap on with his hair
4. Leroy Jenkins – I think it’s pretty obvious why this would be awesome
3. Michael Scott – Since he done working at Dunder Mifflin, I think it’s a good opportunity to pick him up. What I think would be great about him is that even though he would have the worst stats in the league, he would still think he was the greatest wiffleball player to ever live
2. Rebecca Black – She probably wouldn’t to great player, but a good addition none the less. I bet you can’t guess what her favorite day to play wiffleball is…..Wednesday. What? What did think I was going to say?
1. Charlie Sheen – He will destroy you in the air and deploy his ordinance to the ground, because he’s a freakin’ rockstar Vatican assassin. He would make your team look like droopy-eyed amless children because you can’t handle his brain, dude. He has tiger blood and Adonis DNA He is, furthermore, always WINNING DUHH!!!
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
7. Adam Sandler – He would completely shut you down all game and then make a smart a** comment about how terrible you are at wiffleball and how his crappy movie “Click” was better than you.
6. Larry King – Seeing as how he has nothing to do now that his show is done, I feel that would make a great addition to the PWL. He would also be the best player interviewer for wiffleball in the nation.
5. Conan O’Brien – Seems like he may be an athletic guy. Great for some hilarious wise cracks here and there about how NBC screwed him. The only problem is I have no clue how he would put a baseball cap on with his hair
4. Leroy Jenkins – I think it’s pretty obvious why this would be awesome
3. Michael Scott – Since he done working at Dunder Mifflin, I think it’s a good opportunity to pick him up. What I think would be great about him is that even though he would have the worst stats in the league, he would still think he was the greatest wiffleball player to ever live
2. Rebecca Black – She probably wouldn’t to great player, but a good addition none the less. I bet you can’t guess what her favorite day to play wiffleball is…..Wednesday. What? What did think I was going to say?
1. Charlie Sheen – He will destroy you in the air and deploy his ordinance to the ground, because he’s a freakin’ rockstar Vatican assassin. He would make your team look like droopy-eyed amless children because you can’t handle his brain, dude. He has tiger blood and Adonis DNA He is, furthermore, always WINNING DUHH!!!
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
Week 1 In-Depth Preview by Jackson Bruce 5/5/11
The season is almost here and rosters are final. It is time for me to start doing the weekly matchup analysis. I will give my take on each game every week throughout the season and keep track of how many games I predict correctly.
Crusaders vs. Mighty Buffalo
This game will be a great start to a highly anticipated season. The Crusaders will try to start off their season, in which they are my title favorites, in a battle against my other title favorite, the Mighty Buffalo. The Buffs will feature 3 rookies and will be tough. Honeywell, who is technically a former Spumoni, will lead this team this year. Lane Severyn and Carson Eisenbiez are going to be tough outs and will look like veterans. On the other hand, the Crusaders are veterans and they have been here before. Mercer and Smith are both all-stars and Sean Snyder is the brother off a 2-time MVP. I excpect a slow start to the game for the Crusaders and the Buffs to take an early lead on a Cody Honeywell home run. But after that, scoring will be scarse until Smith leads off the 5th with a single and Mercer hits a triple to drive him in and Sean drives him in with a double off the wall. In the top of the 6th, the Crusaders win it with a game-winning home run off the bat of Mac Mercer. Crusaders 3, Buffs 2.
Trojans vs. Batborne
I come back to face my former team, the Trojans 3 new players will be tested for the first time, as will the new look Batborne. The Trojans will take an early 2-0 lead with a bomb from Cash Anderson in the 1st. The Batborne will take a little bit to get their bats going, but the Trojans keep striking. I will hit a 2-run bomb in the 3rd and Bo will hit one right after me to make it 5-0. The Batborne will wake up in the bottom of the 4th and put up three after two straight doubles and a Joel Jochim bomb. In the 5th, me and Cash will then hit back-to-back jacks to make it 7-3. In the bottom of the 6th, down 7-3, the Batborne make a late push with two Joel Jochim home runs and a Wylin Baker solo bomb to make it 7-6. After 5 and 2/3 innings I will then be replaced by Bo who then strikes out A.J. to win the game. Trojans 7, Batborne 6.
Chuggin' Slugs vs. Reapers
The Chuggin' Slugs are the expected most improved team in the league. There chemistry will be great from the get go, but their bats may take some time. While the Slugs aren't slugging, the Reapers will be as they will lead off the game with 3 straight bombs from Chambers, Leif, then rookie Ryan Dufour and they won't look back from there. After and early 3-0 lead, Dufour and Leif both hit another 2-run shot each and the Slugs will manage one run on a Brad Hepper (Surprise!) home run in the 5th and the Reapers will end up with a routing victory after piling on some extra base-hits. Chuggin' Slugs 1, Reapers 11 in 5 innings.
Holy Ball Whackers vs. Chimps
Benjamin Theodore Leidholt is furious. Tjhe Chimps don't get the respect he thinks they deserve and he is sick of it. Leadholt explodes for five home runs in this single-handed rout of the league's newest team. Erickson will get a few doubles and Ian will hit a bomb to drive him in, but it will be a repetitive sight when Jared doubles, Ian singles on balls that the other 29 players in the league make doubles, and then Benny the Bull will smash a shot. After amassing half of the number homers he had last year, Ben will call it a night with the last pitch whizzing by Poncho and the Chimps win it in 4. Holy Ball Whackers 0, Chimps, 16.
Scrubs vs. Lumberjax
Scrubs win. They win big. Gindy hits 2 bombs and that will be the only bright spot. Nate manages 2 hits while Derrius Heyward-Bey, I meant Dan Erickson will have none. McGuigan and Snyder combine for 6 bombs and Steven Blake pitches masterfully and thinks, "What the Hell, I might as well hit a bomb and get this over with." He hets one to seal the deal in a 4 inning slashing. Scrubs 14, Lumberjax 3 in 4 innings.
Crusaders vs. Mighty Buffalo
This game will be a great start to a highly anticipated season. The Crusaders will try to start off their season, in which they are my title favorites, in a battle against my other title favorite, the Mighty Buffalo. The Buffs will feature 3 rookies and will be tough. Honeywell, who is technically a former Spumoni, will lead this team this year. Lane Severyn and Carson Eisenbiez are going to be tough outs and will look like veterans. On the other hand, the Crusaders are veterans and they have been here before. Mercer and Smith are both all-stars and Sean Snyder is the brother off a 2-time MVP. I excpect a slow start to the game for the Crusaders and the Buffs to take an early lead on a Cody Honeywell home run. But after that, scoring will be scarse until Smith leads off the 5th with a single and Mercer hits a triple to drive him in and Sean drives him in with a double off the wall. In the top of the 6th, the Crusaders win it with a game-winning home run off the bat of Mac Mercer. Crusaders 3, Buffs 2.
Trojans vs. Batborne
I come back to face my former team, the Trojans 3 new players will be tested for the first time, as will the new look Batborne. The Trojans will take an early 2-0 lead with a bomb from Cash Anderson in the 1st. The Batborne will take a little bit to get their bats going, but the Trojans keep striking. I will hit a 2-run bomb in the 3rd and Bo will hit one right after me to make it 5-0. The Batborne will wake up in the bottom of the 4th and put up three after two straight doubles and a Joel Jochim bomb. In the 5th, me and Cash will then hit back-to-back jacks to make it 7-3. In the bottom of the 6th, down 7-3, the Batborne make a late push with two Joel Jochim home runs and a Wylin Baker solo bomb to make it 7-6. After 5 and 2/3 innings I will then be replaced by Bo who then strikes out A.J. to win the game. Trojans 7, Batborne 6.
Chuggin' Slugs vs. Reapers
The Chuggin' Slugs are the expected most improved team in the league. There chemistry will be great from the get go, but their bats may take some time. While the Slugs aren't slugging, the Reapers will be as they will lead off the game with 3 straight bombs from Chambers, Leif, then rookie Ryan Dufour and they won't look back from there. After and early 3-0 lead, Dufour and Leif both hit another 2-run shot each and the Slugs will manage one run on a Brad Hepper (Surprise!) home run in the 5th and the Reapers will end up with a routing victory after piling on some extra base-hits. Chuggin' Slugs 1, Reapers 11 in 5 innings.
Holy Ball Whackers vs. Chimps
Benjamin Theodore Leidholt is furious. Tjhe Chimps don't get the respect he thinks they deserve and he is sick of it. Leadholt explodes for five home runs in this single-handed rout of the league's newest team. Erickson will get a few doubles and Ian will hit a bomb to drive him in, but it will be a repetitive sight when Jared doubles, Ian singles on balls that the other 29 players in the league make doubles, and then Benny the Bull will smash a shot. After amassing half of the number homers he had last year, Ben will call it a night with the last pitch whizzing by Poncho and the Chimps win it in 4. Holy Ball Whackers 0, Chimps, 16.
Scrubs vs. Lumberjax
Scrubs win. They win big. Gindy hits 2 bombs and that will be the only bright spot. Nate manages 2 hits while Derrius Heyward-Bey, I meant Dan Erickson will have none. McGuigan and Snyder combine for 6 bombs and Steven Blake pitches masterfully and thinks, "What the Hell, I might as well hit a bomb and get this over with." He hets one to seal the deal in a 4 inning slashing. Scrubs 14, Lumberjax 3 in 4 innings.
Post Draft Analysis by Jackson Bruce 4/18/11
The Draft is over and its on to the predictions, comparisons, and to see how close I was on my mock draft. I will list the pick then put my pick in parenthesis and an NFL Draft Pick to compare them to.
1st Pick Chuggin' Slugs- Connor Berg (Berg), Carson Palmer, Bengals.
He will be a fixture of this franchise for awhile and will help them make the playoffs a few times.
2nd Pick Batborne- A.J. Dourchner (Dourchner), Matt Ryan, Falcons.
A.J. will be able to replace one of the two Batborne originals and will be a good replacement with the Batborne not missing a beat.
3rd Pick Lumberjax- Dan Erickson (Erickson), Darrius Heyward-Bay, Raiders.
He was picked at #3 when he could have easily been the last pick. He was drafted too high like his Raiders counterpart who was projected at 3rd round and ended up being 7th overall.
4th Pick Reapers- Ryan Dufour (Jacobsen), Ray Rice, Ravens.
Drafted in the middle of the draft, but could be a star for the Reapers and could help them win fast.
5th Pick Crusaders- Sean Snyder (Snyder), Aaron Rodgers, Packers.
Could have been the best talent in the draft was left waiting for awhile and is ready to prove himself. Could lead Crusaders to championship like Rodgers did with the Packers.
6th Pick Batborne- Wylin Baker (Baker), Donald Driver, Packers.
Picked near the end, Wylin could become a fixture with the Batborne and maybe rack up some sick stats.
7th Pick Holy Ball Whackers- Kyle Jacobsen (Coughlin), Troy Smith, Ravens.
He has talented and ended up being picked at the end of the draft. May make an impact early, but may need to go elsewhere to make a big difference like Troy Smith did when he went from Baltimore to the 49ers.
8th Pick Chimps- Ian Coughlin (Dufour), Tom Brady, Patriots.
Overlooked by most, could be a huge star. Enough said.
1st Pick Chuggin' Slugs- Connor Berg (Berg), Carson Palmer, Bengals.
He will be a fixture of this franchise for awhile and will help them make the playoffs a few times.
2nd Pick Batborne- A.J. Dourchner (Dourchner), Matt Ryan, Falcons.
A.J. will be able to replace one of the two Batborne originals and will be a good replacement with the Batborne not missing a beat.
3rd Pick Lumberjax- Dan Erickson (Erickson), Darrius Heyward-Bay, Raiders.
He was picked at #3 when he could have easily been the last pick. He was drafted too high like his Raiders counterpart who was projected at 3rd round and ended up being 7th overall.
4th Pick Reapers- Ryan Dufour (Jacobsen), Ray Rice, Ravens.
Drafted in the middle of the draft, but could be a star for the Reapers and could help them win fast.
5th Pick Crusaders- Sean Snyder (Snyder), Aaron Rodgers, Packers.
Could have been the best talent in the draft was left waiting for awhile and is ready to prove himself. Could lead Crusaders to championship like Rodgers did with the Packers.
6th Pick Batborne- Wylin Baker (Baker), Donald Driver, Packers.
Picked near the end, Wylin could become a fixture with the Batborne and maybe rack up some sick stats.
7th Pick Holy Ball Whackers- Kyle Jacobsen (Coughlin), Troy Smith, Ravens.
He has talented and ended up being picked at the end of the draft. May make an impact early, but may need to go elsewhere to make a big difference like Troy Smith did when he went from Baltimore to the 49ers.
8th Pick Chimps- Ian Coughlin (Dufour), Tom Brady, Patriots.
Overlooked by most, could be a huge star. Enough said.
Clown some clowns by Joe Snyder 4/8/11
The Scrubs are back and better than ever. Even with a few kinks in our game, we managed to roll up the Trojans, making them limper than overcooked spaghetti. And honestly, did anyone expect differently? I mean, come on, we have always had the best DPS and Healer, but with the addition of Steven Blake, we now have the best Tank anyone could ask for. Seriously, we are the best party out there. Granted, we did let up 2 runs, but once we worked out some kinks we downed that boss like no tomorrow. But we have the best gear, our average item level is 453, and no one can stop us. To put it simply, we have downed Kael’Thas, we have downed the Lich King, and we are gonna down Deathwing. We are the motherf*cking Scrubs, b*tches. It is what we do.
Predictions Around The League by Jackson Bruce 4/7/11
The past few weeks, all you've heard is my opinion on what will happen this upcoming PWL season. You may be getting tired of it. I have invited a few of the PWL players to make predictions (not including their own team) to see who they thought would win the David N. Mullany Cups in 2011. The sad thing is, we had a few guys submit predictions that could never happen a.k.a. they don't know the League's alignment. Therefore, they have set themselves up for embarrassment as I will show their predictions too.
My Prediction:
Mighty Buffalo over Crusaders
That was just a refresher. Now to the real good stuff.
Mac Mercer, Crusaders: Scrubs over Trojans
Joe Snyder, Scrubs: Chuggin' Slugs over Reapers
Jared Erickson, Chimps: Crusaders over Trojans
Nate Buscher, Lumberjax: Batborne over Trojans
Dan Erickson, Draft Prospect: Lumberjax over (Put team here)
Alex McGuigan, Scrubs: Trojans over Crusaders
Ian Coughlin, Draft Prospect: Trojans over Scrubs
Tyson Moodie, Holy Ball Whackers: Scrubs over Lumberjax
Notes on these Predictions:
Joe Snyder was the only prediciton with either the Chuggin' Slugs or Reapers in it.
Jared Erickson was the only one to have the Crusaders win it all.
The defending Champion Scrubs were picked on named on 3 predictions, and winning twice.
The Trojans were named the most times, five, but were only picked twice to win it.
Two cannot happen (Nate and Tyson)
The Lumberjax were named twice and once to win it. They have a 5-15 overall record over 2 years. The worst record among original teams.
McGuigan's prediction had a score as well, Trojans 101, Crusaders 99.
Dan Erickson didn't pick anyone for the Lumberjax to beat so we will give the Chimps some love and let them get named/beat.
The Batborne were named on only 1 prediction and have been to the Campionship the past 2 years. I guess the Batborne get no love, except from Nate's impossible ballot.
That is how the players think 2011 could play out. We shall see if any get it right.
My Prediction:
Mighty Buffalo over Crusaders
That was just a refresher. Now to the real good stuff.
Mac Mercer, Crusaders: Scrubs over Trojans
Joe Snyder, Scrubs: Chuggin' Slugs over Reapers
Jared Erickson, Chimps: Crusaders over Trojans
Nate Buscher, Lumberjax: Batborne over Trojans
Dan Erickson, Draft Prospect: Lumberjax over (Put team here)
Alex McGuigan, Scrubs: Trojans over Crusaders
Ian Coughlin, Draft Prospect: Trojans over Scrubs
Tyson Moodie, Holy Ball Whackers: Scrubs over Lumberjax
Notes on these Predictions:
Joe Snyder was the only prediciton with either the Chuggin' Slugs or Reapers in it.
Jared Erickson was the only one to have the Crusaders win it all.
The defending Champion Scrubs were picked on named on 3 predictions, and winning twice.
The Trojans were named the most times, five, but were only picked twice to win it.
Two cannot happen (Nate and Tyson)
The Lumberjax were named twice and once to win it. They have a 5-15 overall record over 2 years. The worst record among original teams.
McGuigan's prediction had a score as well, Trojans 101, Crusaders 99.
Dan Erickson didn't pick anyone for the Lumberjax to beat so we will give the Chimps some love and let them get named/beat.
The Batborne were named on only 1 prediction and have been to the Campionship the past 2 years. I guess the Batborne get no love, except from Nate's impossible ballot.
That is how the players think 2011 could play out. We shall see if any get it right.
Jordan Smith: The Anger is Boiling by Jackson Bruce 4/5/11
The Crusaders don't only have the second coming of Ichiro Suzuki they also have a white version of Ron Artest. Jordan Smith is a loose cannon who has put his anger aside to realize his dream of playing in the PWL. He helped found the Crusaders and lead them to the playoffs the next year. He is inspiring to all. That wasn't always the case. At age 4 he slapped a girl in his preschool class after she refused to hold his hand. At age 7 he slapped his teacher for not teaching social studies for a day. By age 16 he had been accused of 87 counts of assault and 3 counts of indecent exposure (he gets naked when he gets too fired up).
It was all good for a year until the offseason leading to the 2010 season. An old lady cut in front of Smith in line at Subway. Jordan was really wanting his meatball marinara sub and he lost it. He hit the old lady over then head with a loaf of wheat and started throwing straws at workers. The police were called and by the time they got there Mr. Smith was halfway up the flagpole and was naked. No socks. No nothing. The police finally had enough and they shot him down with a bullet to the hand. SMith was then sent to anger management and has not even had a minor flare up in nearly 16 months. He is an inspiration to many and channels his anger into a passion to play the game and play it to his potential.
It was all good for a year until the offseason leading to the 2010 season. An old lady cut in front of Smith in line at Subway. Jordan was really wanting his meatball marinara sub and he lost it. He hit the old lady over then head with a loaf of wheat and started throwing straws at workers. The police were called and by the time they got there Mr. Smith was halfway up the flagpole and was naked. No socks. No nothing. The police finally had enough and they shot him down with a bullet to the hand. SMith was then sent to anger management and has not even had a minor flare up in nearly 16 months. He is an inspiration to many and channels his anger into a passion to play the game and play it to his potential.
Opening Day and Games to Watch this Summer by Jackson Bruce 4/1/11
The Schedule is out and the PWL's 3rd season is coming into form. Let's take a look at Opening Day games and other matchups to watch throughout the season.
Week 1:
Crusaders vs. Mighty Buffalo
Interesting first game for the Buffs, playing the self-porclaimed 2nd best team to start things off. I have em in the Championship should be interesting but since they are new, Buffs will lose 10-7.
Trojans vs. Batborne
The game I've been looking forward to since I was traded, I'm ready to roll. Just to be an ass I say we win 12-3.
Chuggin' Slugs vs. Reapers
The revamped Slugs will make a good game against the 2010 surprise Reapers. Slugs win 20-19 in extra innings.
Holy Ball Whackers vs. Chimps
The beaten and battered Chimps will play the newest team in the league. Chimps try to rebound from early playoff exit in 2010, but lose 8-1.
Scrubs vs. Lumberjax
The new name Lumberjax are trying to start anew and ditch their losing ways. But Mac's surprise 3rd seed will be no match for the almighty Scrubs in a 17-1 3 inning slashing.
5 Others To Watch:
Mighty Buffalo vs. the Holy Ball Whackers (Week 2)
The two new teams of 2011 face off to see who's better. I have the Buffs pulling it out 7-5.
Batborne vs. Scrubs (Week 3)
Always an entertaining matchup, the Scrubs and Batborne will face off for the 8th time in history. The Scrubs are 7-0 overall in the matchup (5-0 in regular season and 2-0 in the Playoffs) the Batborne will try to battle out another win and will pull it out for one of the Scrubs' two losses this season. 11-9 is the final.
Reapers vs. Chimps (Week 4)
Benny Leidholt will be seeking revenge of the Reapers after the early exit last year, in which Ben blames Cash. Chimps win it when it doesn't matter quite as much 12-8.
Lumberjax vs. Mighty Buffalo (Week 7)
Nate Buscher and Jake Gunderson both hold grudges against Cody Honeywell. The Spumoni No-Show is gunna get fought and played against hard. Lumberjax pull and upset 13-12 in the bottom of the 6th on a walkoff fight that was started by Gunderson against Honeywell. There will be a record 5 fights in the game.
Scrubs vs. Crusaders (Week 9)
Scrubs will win the highly anticipated matchup, but will not be the Crusaders when it counts. Scrubs 11-5 over Crusaders.
Week 1:
Crusaders vs. Mighty Buffalo
Interesting first game for the Buffs, playing the self-porclaimed 2nd best team to start things off. I have em in the Championship should be interesting but since they are new, Buffs will lose 10-7.
Trojans vs. Batborne
The game I've been looking forward to since I was traded, I'm ready to roll. Just to be an ass I say we win 12-3.
Chuggin' Slugs vs. Reapers
The revamped Slugs will make a good game against the 2010 surprise Reapers. Slugs win 20-19 in extra innings.
Holy Ball Whackers vs. Chimps
The beaten and battered Chimps will play the newest team in the league. Chimps try to rebound from early playoff exit in 2010, but lose 8-1.
Scrubs vs. Lumberjax
The new name Lumberjax are trying to start anew and ditch their losing ways. But Mac's surprise 3rd seed will be no match for the almighty Scrubs in a 17-1 3 inning slashing.
5 Others To Watch:
Mighty Buffalo vs. the Holy Ball Whackers (Week 2)
The two new teams of 2011 face off to see who's better. I have the Buffs pulling it out 7-5.
Batborne vs. Scrubs (Week 3)
Always an entertaining matchup, the Scrubs and Batborne will face off for the 8th time in history. The Scrubs are 7-0 overall in the matchup (5-0 in regular season and 2-0 in the Playoffs) the Batborne will try to battle out another win and will pull it out for one of the Scrubs' two losses this season. 11-9 is the final.
Reapers vs. Chimps (Week 4)
Benny Leidholt will be seeking revenge of the Reapers after the early exit last year, in which Ben blames Cash. Chimps win it when it doesn't matter quite as much 12-8.
Lumberjax vs. Mighty Buffalo (Week 7)
Nate Buscher and Jake Gunderson both hold grudges against Cody Honeywell. The Spumoni No-Show is gunna get fought and played against hard. Lumberjax pull and upset 13-12 in the bottom of the 6th on a walkoff fight that was started by Gunderson against Honeywell. There will be a record 5 fights in the game.
Scrubs vs. Crusaders (Week 9)
Scrubs will win the highly anticipated matchup, but will not be the Crusaders when it counts. Scrubs 11-5 over Crusaders.
The Crusaders Column and Pre-Draft Season Preview by Jackson Bruce 3/22/11
The Crusaders are going to win the Oahe Pennant. Let's just get that outta the way. They are the team to beat. Mac and Jordan are determined to knock the Scrubs off and prove they are not behind any team, besides maybe the Scrubs. The only way to do that is beat them. Touted as the 3rd best team in the league because they have never made the championship game, they will try to prove their worth. I think they can pull it off.
I believe they can pull it off and win it all and maybe be the best, but Mercer and Smith need to keep up their improvement and keep their All-Star play and swagger up. As determined as they are, they can't lose focus. Being the only team in the league to beat the Scrubs, they have the best chance to win it all if the Scrubs don't. That is just simply the way it is.
Enough Said.
My 2011 PWL Preview
Oahe Division
1st Scrubs (8-2)
2nd Crusaders (8-2)
3rd Chuggin' Slugs (6-4)
4th H.B.W. (5-5)
5th Lumberjax (2-8)
Dakota Division
1st Trojans (7-3)
2nd Batborne (6-4)
3rd Mighty Buffalo (5-5)
4th Chimps (4-6)
5th Reapers (2-8)
Playoffs
Oahe
#1 Scrubs over #4 H.B.W.
#2 Crusaders over #3 Chuggin' Slugs
#2 Crusaders over #1 Scrubs
Dakota
#1 Trojans over #4 Chimps
#3 Mighty Buffalo over #2 Batborne
#3 Mighty Buffalo over #1 Trojans
Championship
Mighty Buffalo over Crusaders, 9-8 in 8 innings
Awards
MVP: Mac Mercer, Crusaders
Playoff MVP: Cody Honeywell, Mighty Buffalo
Andy Bruce Award: Alex McGuigan, Scrubs
Rookie of the Year: Ian Coughlin, H.B.W.
Most Rage: Jake Gunderson, Lumberjax
All-Stars
Oahe
Starters:
Mac Mercer, Crusaders
Alex McGuigan, Scrubs
Joe Snyder, Scrubs
Elliot Coughlin, Chuggin' Slugs
Reserves:
Ian Coughlin, H.B.W.
Jake Gunderson, Lumberjax
Dakota
Starters:
Cash Anderson, Trojans
Joel Jochim, Batborne
Cody Honeywell, Mighty Buffalo
Ben Leidholt, Chimps
Reserves:
Jackson Bruce, Trojans
Jake Chambers, Reapers
I believe they can pull it off and win it all and maybe be the best, but Mercer and Smith need to keep up their improvement and keep their All-Star play and swagger up. As determined as they are, they can't lose focus. Being the only team in the league to beat the Scrubs, they have the best chance to win it all if the Scrubs don't. That is just simply the way it is.
Enough Said.
My 2011 PWL Preview
Oahe Division
1st Scrubs (8-2)
2nd Crusaders (8-2)
3rd Chuggin' Slugs (6-4)
4th H.B.W. (5-5)
5th Lumberjax (2-8)
Dakota Division
1st Trojans (7-3)
2nd Batborne (6-4)
3rd Mighty Buffalo (5-5)
4th Chimps (4-6)
5th Reapers (2-8)
Playoffs
Oahe
#1 Scrubs over #4 H.B.W.
#2 Crusaders over #3 Chuggin' Slugs
#2 Crusaders over #1 Scrubs
Dakota
#1 Trojans over #4 Chimps
#3 Mighty Buffalo over #2 Batborne
#3 Mighty Buffalo over #1 Trojans
Championship
Mighty Buffalo over Crusaders, 9-8 in 8 innings
Awards
MVP: Mac Mercer, Crusaders
Playoff MVP: Cody Honeywell, Mighty Buffalo
Andy Bruce Award: Alex McGuigan, Scrubs
Rookie of the Year: Ian Coughlin, H.B.W.
Most Rage: Jake Gunderson, Lumberjax
All-Stars
Oahe
Starters:
Mac Mercer, Crusaders
Alex McGuigan, Scrubs
Joe Snyder, Scrubs
Elliot Coughlin, Chuggin' Slugs
Reserves:
Ian Coughlin, H.B.W.
Jake Gunderson, Lumberjax
Dakota
Starters:
Cash Anderson, Trojans
Joel Jochim, Batborne
Cody Honeywell, Mighty Buffalo
Ben Leidholt, Chimps
Reserves:
Jackson Bruce, Trojans
Jake Chambers, Reapers
Pre-Combine Mock Draft by Jackson Bruce 3/17/11
The Combine is coming up and I am in the Draft Spirit so I have made a Pre-Combine Mock Draft.
#1- Chuggin' Slugs: Connor Berg
Berg, Coughlin and Hepper will be a line up full of big guys and will be an intimidating club that only won once last season.
#2- Batborne (From Trojans): A.J. Dourchner
A.J. has experience and will fit the Batborne scheme of all-around talent. He will be a star from the start.
#3- Lumberjax: Dan Erickson
It seems a little early for him, and it is. But, the Lumberjax basically called drafting him.
#4- Chimps: Ryan Dufour
Great steal for the Chimps. They can easily replace Cash with their new acquisition that could keep them a Championship-Caliber Team.
#5- Reapers: Kyle Jacobsen
The Reapers will get the speedy Mexican lookalike and will be a playoff contender yet again.
#6- Crusaders: Sean Snyder
The older brother of Joe Snyder will join the Crusaders-Scrubs rivalry and really make it interesting.
#7- Batborne- Wylin Baker
Wylin will be a great complimentary pick to play alongside A.J. and Joel.
#8- Holy Ball Whackers: Ian Coughlin
Most likely the future heart and soul of this team. I want to make t-shirts that say "Who Died and Made You Ian Coughlin".
Another version of this after the Combine.
#1- Chuggin' Slugs: Connor Berg
Berg, Coughlin and Hepper will be a line up full of big guys and will be an intimidating club that only won once last season.
#2- Batborne (From Trojans): A.J. Dourchner
A.J. has experience and will fit the Batborne scheme of all-around talent. He will be a star from the start.
#3- Lumberjax: Dan Erickson
It seems a little early for him, and it is. But, the Lumberjax basically called drafting him.
#4- Chimps: Ryan Dufour
Great steal for the Chimps. They can easily replace Cash with their new acquisition that could keep them a Championship-Caliber Team.
#5- Reapers: Kyle Jacobsen
The Reapers will get the speedy Mexican lookalike and will be a playoff contender yet again.
#6- Crusaders: Sean Snyder
The older brother of Joe Snyder will join the Crusaders-Scrubs rivalry and really make it interesting.
#7- Batborne- Wylin Baker
Wylin will be a great complimentary pick to play alongside A.J. and Joel.
#8- Holy Ball Whackers: Ian Coughlin
Most likely the future heart and soul of this team. I want to make t-shirts that say "Who Died and Made You Ian Coughlin".
Another version of this after the Combine.
S.O.S. Please Help Me by Jackson Bruce 3/11/11
The Scrubs have been crying about not having an article on the site yet (I guess individual praise isn't enoguh) and have nonetheless, tied me up and have me at gun point as I peck at the keyboard with my nose to make these words.
As the defending back-to-back champions the Scrubs are destined to fall... (pistol whip to the head).
(In a low tone) "Don't write bad things about us Jackson", says Joe Snyder in the background.
...I mean destined for greatness. They will for sure make a push for the Cups and are my pick (by force, not by choice) to win the Oahe Division. The Crusaders don't even compare (according to McGuigan) and will never beat them to make it to the Cups Championship Game.
Alex is 2nd in career home runs and scares the crap out of me when he threatens me like he currently does. He is from Compton and is always packing a glock in his shorts. He has it pointed to my head as I am forced (SMACK! to my right temple) I mean willing to write about this wonderful team of individuals. Steve Blake, who is currently not torturing me, is a bright young rookie and could help the Scrubs stay on top. Snyder is my second pick (WHACK! to both of my knees caps) I mean first pick to win the MVP.
Okay, I give up! The Scrubs are going to beat the Crusaders in the regular season but not make it to the Championship because the Crusaders will get revenge on them in the Division Finals. They will beat them 10-9 in seven innings and face the Trojans or Mighty Buffalo in the Championship and either lose from a Cash Anderson walk-off Home Run, lose from a Honeywell no-hitter or win if the Buffalo have Severyn pitch and the Trojans have Me pitch.
Phew! I thought I wos going to get smacked for voicing my opinion...
Alex pulls out the glock and shoots me through the skull. He makes it look like Gunderson had a rage attack and now Jake faces life in the joint without possibility of parol.
Prediction: Crusaders over Scrubs when it counts.
As the defending back-to-back champions the Scrubs are destined to fall... (pistol whip to the head).
(In a low tone) "Don't write bad things about us Jackson", says Joe Snyder in the background.
...I mean destined for greatness. They will for sure make a push for the Cups and are my pick (by force, not by choice) to win the Oahe Division. The Crusaders don't even compare (according to McGuigan) and will never beat them to make it to the Cups Championship Game.
Alex is 2nd in career home runs and scares the crap out of me when he threatens me like he currently does. He is from Compton and is always packing a glock in his shorts. He has it pointed to my head as I am forced (SMACK! to my right temple) I mean willing to write about this wonderful team of individuals. Steve Blake, who is currently not torturing me, is a bright young rookie and could help the Scrubs stay on top. Snyder is my second pick (WHACK! to both of my knees caps) I mean first pick to win the MVP.
Okay, I give up! The Scrubs are going to beat the Crusaders in the regular season but not make it to the Championship because the Crusaders will get revenge on them in the Division Finals. They will beat them 10-9 in seven innings and face the Trojans or Mighty Buffalo in the Championship and either lose from a Cash Anderson walk-off Home Run, lose from a Honeywell no-hitter or win if the Buffalo have Severyn pitch and the Trojans have Me pitch.
Phew! I thought I wos going to get smacked for voicing my opinion...
Alex pulls out the glock and shoots me through the skull. He makes it look like Gunderson had a rage attack and now Jake faces life in the joint without possibility of parol.
Prediction: Crusaders over Scrubs when it counts.
Head of State's Two Cents: PWL Drafting For Dummies by Joel Jochim 3/8/11
So you want to draft someone. Drafting ain’t an easy thing to do. You need to get know your prospects before you make that big decision. Here is my scouting report on each draft prospect.
Ryan Dufour – Ryan has played baseball for most of his life. He has fluid power swing and a nasty curveball. But I believe he is a little short tempered which may cause a team chemistry issue. I can’t wait to see how his first season turns out.
Ability – A
Speed – C
Morale – B
Overall – B
A.J. Dourchner – A.J. is also a long-time baseball player. He swings a great bat and shows some pitching ability also. Most of his baseball experience is behind the plate. This puts him at slight disadvantage since there are no catchers in the PWL.
Ability – A
Speed – B
Morale – A
Overall – A
Ian Coughlin – Ian, brother of Chuggin’ Slug Elliot, has some great potential. He plays his share of baseball during the summer giving him some wiffleball-know-how. He will hit the occasional long-ball with his uppercut hack. He will also display some diving flesh-gems if you put in the outfield. Ian is a very committed man and will undoubtedly show up for every single game, if you pick him.
Ability – A
Speed – C+
Morale – A+
Overall – A-
Dan Erickson – Truly I have zero idea of what will become of Dan. I don’t think he has any baseball experience and I no he has no wiffle experience. But he seems to be in shape and have a can-do attitude. Picking him may be risky business.
Ability – D
Speed – B
Morale – A
Overall – C
Wylin Baker – Here’s another guy who’s a toss-up. He played baseball many years ago but may still have the ability to go yard. Picking him might be a risk but it should be worth it.
Ability – C
Speed – B
Morale – B
Overall – B
Kyle “Poncho” Jacobsen – PICK THIS GUY IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE. He emits everything that makes a great wiffleball player. Past baseball experience, power swing, pitching ability, and a pair of wheels. His short may be a slight factor and don’t let it shy you away from the opportunity to pick him.
Ability – A
Speed – A
Morale – B
Overall - A
Conner Berg – Conner will most likely be a PWL star this year. He has the speed and the height. His lack of a baseball oriented past may be his downfall though. He may have trouble batting and play making but it’s not likely.
Ability – B
Speed – A
Morale – A
Overall - A
Sean Snyder - Brother to 2-time champion Joe, Sean shows some great talent. He will hold the record of oldest player in the PWL as he is the only member who is attending college. He played baseball back in the day and probably still holds all of the skills. You won't regret picking this guy. But if you do plan on picking him, be aware that you won't be able to see his ability in person because he probably won't be able to make it to the draft combine.
Ability – B
Speed – A
Morale – B
Overall – B+
Now you can draft wisely.
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
Ryan Dufour – Ryan has played baseball for most of his life. He has fluid power swing and a nasty curveball. But I believe he is a little short tempered which may cause a team chemistry issue. I can’t wait to see how his first season turns out.
Ability – A
Speed – C
Morale – B
Overall – B
A.J. Dourchner – A.J. is also a long-time baseball player. He swings a great bat and shows some pitching ability also. Most of his baseball experience is behind the plate. This puts him at slight disadvantage since there are no catchers in the PWL.
Ability – A
Speed – B
Morale – A
Overall – A
Ian Coughlin – Ian, brother of Chuggin’ Slug Elliot, has some great potential. He plays his share of baseball during the summer giving him some wiffleball-know-how. He will hit the occasional long-ball with his uppercut hack. He will also display some diving flesh-gems if you put in the outfield. Ian is a very committed man and will undoubtedly show up for every single game, if you pick him.
Ability – A
Speed – C+
Morale – A+
Overall – A-
Dan Erickson – Truly I have zero idea of what will become of Dan. I don’t think he has any baseball experience and I no he has no wiffle experience. But he seems to be in shape and have a can-do attitude. Picking him may be risky business.
Ability – D
Speed – B
Morale – A
Overall – C
Wylin Baker – Here’s another guy who’s a toss-up. He played baseball many years ago but may still have the ability to go yard. Picking him might be a risk but it should be worth it.
Ability – C
Speed – B
Morale – B
Overall – B
Kyle “Poncho” Jacobsen – PICK THIS GUY IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE. He emits everything that makes a great wiffleball player. Past baseball experience, power swing, pitching ability, and a pair of wheels. His short may be a slight factor and don’t let it shy you away from the opportunity to pick him.
Ability – A
Speed – A
Morale – B
Overall - A
Conner Berg – Conner will most likely be a PWL star this year. He has the speed and the height. His lack of a baseball oriented past may be his downfall though. He may have trouble batting and play making but it’s not likely.
Ability – B
Speed – A
Morale – A
Overall - A
Sean Snyder - Brother to 2-time champion Joe, Sean shows some great talent. He will hold the record of oldest player in the PWL as he is the only member who is attending college. He played baseball back in the day and probably still holds all of the skills. You won't regret picking this guy. But if you do plan on picking him, be aware that you won't be able to see his ability in person because he probably won't be able to make it to the draft combine.
Ability – B
Speed – A
Morale – B
Overall – B+
Now you can draft wisely.
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
Joe Snyder: From Rags to Riches by Jackson Bruce 2/23/11
Joe Snyder was born in a log cabin in 1993 to parents with very little money to their name. At age 2, he started to realize his family had no money as he wore the same shirt and shorts (they couldn't afford the rest of the pair of pants) and he had to share a room with 7 of his 23 siblings. He started looking for jobs and at age 3 Snyder got a job at a lumber mill and worked 15 hours a day for 6 days a week. A child can only take so much and he finally quit his job at age 8. Living on his own as a hobo from age 8 to 12, Joe wanted to live out a dream. A dream he developed as a lumber mill worker. He wanted to play wiffleball.
Joe traveled and found himself at the doorstep of the Golden Stick Wiffleball League and signed a minor league deal with the C-Notes. To Joe's dismay he was cut and he was left out of his dream. After 2 years of training, Snyder found his way to the PWL and ended up signing with the Scrubs. After winning awards and championships, Snyder is one of the most repected players in the game. The GSWL is kicking themselves over losing such a talent.
Joe is now engaged to Jessica Alba and has plenty of money now. He is looking for another great season with the Scrubs.
Joe traveled and found himself at the doorstep of the Golden Stick Wiffleball League and signed a minor league deal with the C-Notes. To Joe's dismay he was cut and he was left out of his dream. After 2 years of training, Snyder found his way to the PWL and ended up signing with the Scrubs. After winning awards and championships, Snyder is one of the most repected players in the game. The GSWL is kicking themselves over losing such a talent.
Joe is now engaged to Jessica Alba and has plenty of money now. He is looking for another great season with the Scrubs.
Alex McGuigan: Straight Outta Compton by Jackson Bruce 2/8/11
Growing up in the hood is tough. Drive-bys, drugs and prostitution rule the streets and many kids see it at a young age. Alex McGuigan was one of the kids.
Alex saw his frist drive-by shooting at age 6 on his way to school with his friend, JaMarcus Jefferson. JaMarcus was shot dead and Alex watched his friend die with his lunchbox tightly gripped in his hand. He doesn't quite remember his glimpse of drugs, but that's how he grew up. One thing was different about McGuigan. He would get out and do something in his life. He would play wiffleball.
At age 14, Alex adopted wiffleball as a career. He just needed to get signed. He worked out for countless hours and he was doing great. Until the streets caught up to him again. Alex was walking home from the gym after a hard day of wiffle improvement, when a car pulled up. They told him they had something for him and he came to the car curious of what it was. He poked his head in the window and was soon attacked and they put 2 bullets in his jaw, 3 in his arm, 1 in his leg, 1 through his ear, 4 in his chest, and another somehow clipped his big toe. They left him for dead. Laying there in the road, he was found by Chris Hess and driven to the hospital. He survived and was dubbed as Bulletproof.
Hess, who is from New York, does not remember this ordeal, but is still considered a hero. It was very ironic that the founder of the Hess Field Wiffleball League found Alex. Alex then wanted to play in the HFWL. He tried out in Spring Training to play for the Angels of the HFWL, but he was released. With determination and travel Alex found the PWL for ssupport in his dream. He was signed by the Scrubs and became a star in the PWL and a future Hall of Famer. He was overlooked as too young for many leagues, but has proven he can do it. He has no intentions of leaving the PWL and is currently preparing the Scrubs for a three-peat.
Alex also goes back to Compton twice a month to do Wiffleball Fundamental Clinics sponsored by the Scrubs and he also goes to schools in areas where kids are endangered by dangerous lifestyles to talk about his journey to the top of the PWL. There are plans this summer for Alex to tour with 50 Cent to make the combo of Bulletproof Squared and will also come out with his own rap album along with his duet with Fitty.
Alex saw his frist drive-by shooting at age 6 on his way to school with his friend, JaMarcus Jefferson. JaMarcus was shot dead and Alex watched his friend die with his lunchbox tightly gripped in his hand. He doesn't quite remember his glimpse of drugs, but that's how he grew up. One thing was different about McGuigan. He would get out and do something in his life. He would play wiffleball.
At age 14, Alex adopted wiffleball as a career. He just needed to get signed. He worked out for countless hours and he was doing great. Until the streets caught up to him again. Alex was walking home from the gym after a hard day of wiffle improvement, when a car pulled up. They told him they had something for him and he came to the car curious of what it was. He poked his head in the window and was soon attacked and they put 2 bullets in his jaw, 3 in his arm, 1 in his leg, 1 through his ear, 4 in his chest, and another somehow clipped his big toe. They left him for dead. Laying there in the road, he was found by Chris Hess and driven to the hospital. He survived and was dubbed as Bulletproof.
Hess, who is from New York, does not remember this ordeal, but is still considered a hero. It was very ironic that the founder of the Hess Field Wiffleball League found Alex. Alex then wanted to play in the HFWL. He tried out in Spring Training to play for the Angels of the HFWL, but he was released. With determination and travel Alex found the PWL for ssupport in his dream. He was signed by the Scrubs and became a star in the PWL and a future Hall of Famer. He was overlooked as too young for many leagues, but has proven he can do it. He has no intentions of leaving the PWL and is currently preparing the Scrubs for a three-peat.
Alex also goes back to Compton twice a month to do Wiffleball Fundamental Clinics sponsored by the Scrubs and he also goes to schools in areas where kids are endangered by dangerous lifestyles to talk about his journey to the top of the PWL. There are plans this summer for Alex to tour with 50 Cent to make the combo of Bulletproof Squared and will also come out with his own rap album along with his duet with Fitty.
PWL's Ichiro Suzuki: The Story of Mac Mercer by Jackson Bruce 2/1/11
"Mac your a Jap".
That is one thing I have heard Scrubs player Alex McGuigan say to Crusaders player Mac Mercer. Mac is not bothered by such words. He has embraced is Asian heritage and has been made into the PWL's version of Ichiro. He is an All Star who plays for a playoff team. His relentless effort helped bring down the Scrubs for their first loss. He is truly a hero back in the counrty of Japan.
"He is a hero to the kids here in Tokyo", said Hideki Yoshii of Japan, through his translator, "Kids no longer want to play for the Yomuri Giants, they want to play for the Camden Court Crusaders."
Mercer has made the PWL international. He is also breaking down barriers. He is the Jackie Robinson of the PWL. Mac is the first minority player in the PWL and has shown he is worth the hype. The PWL is not racist by the way. It is just in a community with very few minorities. and Mac Mercer took advantage of the opportunity.
His rookie season with the Crusaders was promising. They beat the Batborne in their second game. The real success came in 2010. The Crusaders went 8-2 and almost won the Oahe pennant. This past year may have solidified a place for Mr. Mercer in the PWL Hall of Fame (yet to be established). Beign an All Star doesn't cut it for the Hall. Mac isn't just an All Star. He is a legend. Just like Jochim, Mercer has paved the way in wiffle for minorities. Jochim paved the way for second chances. Breaking the mold is what the Hall is all about (along with stats and credentials like awards). Mac, in my mind is a shoe-in first year Hall of Famer.
Quick note: My HoF ballot for year one includes: Jochim, Mercer, McGuigan, Snyder, myself and Smith. Each, besides myself will have their own column in the coming weeks.
Mac is currently looking forward to the 2011 season and trying to win the Cups with the Crusaders. It's not too far fetched either. My bold prediction for the year: Crusaders win the Oahe pennant, dethroning the Scrubs and blocking a three-peat. Mac is set for an even bigger year, and you can count on millions of his Japanese fans watching along the way.
That is one thing I have heard Scrubs player Alex McGuigan say to Crusaders player Mac Mercer. Mac is not bothered by such words. He has embraced is Asian heritage and has been made into the PWL's version of Ichiro. He is an All Star who plays for a playoff team. His relentless effort helped bring down the Scrubs for their first loss. He is truly a hero back in the counrty of Japan.
"He is a hero to the kids here in Tokyo", said Hideki Yoshii of Japan, through his translator, "Kids no longer want to play for the Yomuri Giants, they want to play for the Camden Court Crusaders."
Mercer has made the PWL international. He is also breaking down barriers. He is the Jackie Robinson of the PWL. Mac is the first minority player in the PWL and has shown he is worth the hype. The PWL is not racist by the way. It is just in a community with very few minorities. and Mac Mercer took advantage of the opportunity.
His rookie season with the Crusaders was promising. They beat the Batborne in their second game. The real success came in 2010. The Crusaders went 8-2 and almost won the Oahe pennant. This past year may have solidified a place for Mr. Mercer in the PWL Hall of Fame (yet to be established). Beign an All Star doesn't cut it for the Hall. Mac isn't just an All Star. He is a legend. Just like Jochim, Mercer has paved the way in wiffle for minorities. Jochim paved the way for second chances. Breaking the mold is what the Hall is all about (along with stats and credentials like awards). Mac, in my mind is a shoe-in first year Hall of Famer.
Quick note: My HoF ballot for year one includes: Jochim, Mercer, McGuigan, Snyder, myself and Smith. Each, besides myself will have their own column in the coming weeks.
Mac is currently looking forward to the 2011 season and trying to win the Cups with the Crusaders. It's not too far fetched either. My bold prediction for the year: Crusaders win the Oahe pennant, dethroning the Scrubs and blocking a three-peat. Mac is set for an even bigger year, and you can count on millions of his Japanese fans watching along the way.
Boom Goes the Dynamite: Joel Jochim's Road of Wiffle by Jackson Bruce 2/1/11
He has 31 career home runs, two trips to the Championship and an All Star selection under his belt. And that's just the start. Head of State, future Hall of Famer and Batborne star Joel Jochim has had a long and tough road to the top of the PWL. A determined man like Jochim will someday be enshrined in the yet to be established PWL Hall of Fame. We all know Joel, his beard, and his very hair but legendary legs of speed. But, do you know the real Joel Jochim? I do. I have known him since the age of 5. I know the story of the man and the legend. Here it is. Warning: Not for the faint hearted.
Joel "Gremlin" Jochim was born in 1993 in a laboratory full of nuclear chemicals. It was said he sprang up from a seed hit by a drop of Hydroiodic acid. He was then brought into the Jochim home by his "father". When he grew up, he met me and we started playing wiffleball. After much glory as one of the top players in Pierre before the formation of the PWL, things went wrong.
In 2002, he was out of the public eye with a reported case of Mono. It sounded fishy because Joel didn't like kissing people. I knew in my heart something was wrong. I then went to his house to find him sitting in a corner rocking back and forth. I looked closer and noticed white chrystals around the nasal area. I knew right then he had a serious problem. He was addicted to sugar to the point of snorting it.
Two weeks later Joel checked into rehab. He finished sugar rehab in January 2003. It seemed like he was a new man. He refused to chew gum, eat candy, and put sugar on his corn flakes. His only weakness was Tootsie Rolls. After being sober for 2.5 years, Joel went into a relapse of epic proportions. After being hit in the eye by a pitch off of a foul tip in baseball, Joel was out for a few weeks. Depression crept into his life with no bat and ball sports in his life. He went to Wal Mart 4 days after the accident and picked up a 2 pound bag of Tootsie Rolls. I went over to play Time Splitters 3 with him and I some him laying on the floor crying with 2 pounds of Tootsie Rolls in his system. He was an animal. He checked into rehab yet again and has not been there since.
He has kept his sugar addiction in check and consumes it in moderation. He knew in January of 2009 he had to get into top shape to play in the PWL. Addiction would not get in his way. Jochim is now headed to immortality in the Wiffle World thanks to rehab and willpower. He currently is tested for sugar each week to make sure he is not over using and it keeps him from relapsing. Jochim is a hero to many out there and is an inspiration to all.
Joel "Gremlin" Jochim was born in 1993 in a laboratory full of nuclear chemicals. It was said he sprang up from a seed hit by a drop of Hydroiodic acid. He was then brought into the Jochim home by his "father". When he grew up, he met me and we started playing wiffleball. After much glory as one of the top players in Pierre before the formation of the PWL, things went wrong.
In 2002, he was out of the public eye with a reported case of Mono. It sounded fishy because Joel didn't like kissing people. I knew in my heart something was wrong. I then went to his house to find him sitting in a corner rocking back and forth. I looked closer and noticed white chrystals around the nasal area. I knew right then he had a serious problem. He was addicted to sugar to the point of snorting it.
Two weeks later Joel checked into rehab. He finished sugar rehab in January 2003. It seemed like he was a new man. He refused to chew gum, eat candy, and put sugar on his corn flakes. His only weakness was Tootsie Rolls. After being sober for 2.5 years, Joel went into a relapse of epic proportions. After being hit in the eye by a pitch off of a foul tip in baseball, Joel was out for a few weeks. Depression crept into his life with no bat and ball sports in his life. He went to Wal Mart 4 days after the accident and picked up a 2 pound bag of Tootsie Rolls. I went over to play Time Splitters 3 with him and I some him laying on the floor crying with 2 pounds of Tootsie Rolls in his system. He was an animal. He checked into rehab yet again and has not been there since.
He has kept his sugar addiction in check and consumes it in moderation. He knew in January of 2009 he had to get into top shape to play in the PWL. Addiction would not get in his way. Jochim is now headed to immortality in the Wiffle World thanks to rehab and willpower. He currently is tested for sugar each week to make sure he is not over using and it keeps him from relapsing. Jochim is a hero to many out there and is an inspiration to all.
Welcome to the PWL Mighty Buffalo by Jackson Bruce 1/26/11
A ninth team has joined the PWL. The Mighty Buffalo are looking to have a nice 2011 with a roster full of rookies. Besides Cody Honeywell, none of there players have witnessed a PWL game. Honeywell, as few know, was an original member of the Spumoni but never showed up. He will be the leader of this young group and will try to win the Cups. But, expansion teams aren't always the best. Last season, out of the 3 expansion teams, only the Reapers made the playoffs. The Chuggin's Slugs and Trojans didn't and combined for a 6-14 record. How will the Mighty Buffalo fair? We shall take a look at what could happen. Before we do that, remember there will most likely be a tenth team added to the fold. Now, on to the situations. I will give exaples from only major leagues (MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLS) Not the NLL :(
Exhibit A: They could be really good- This is very unlikely, since the only team that has done this is the 1998 Chicago Fire. The Fire won the 1998 MLS Cup in their first season. They dominated the league in their Iaugural go-round and are considered one of the best expansion teams ever. The Buffalo would have big shoes to fill.
Exhibit B: They can be good, but not great- This happened last year with the Reapers. They could be like the Los Angeles Kings and make the playoffs but not make a big run. This has happened more than the first but is still hard to do.
Exhibit C: Middle of the pack- They may be like the Trojans of last year. Good but just kinda there. Like the San Diego Conquistadors in 1972, they could just chill in the middle and not make too much noise. Pretty much being an Average Joe isn't bad for an expansion team.
Exhibit D: Horrible- sadly, this is what happens to most first year teams. The Chuggin' Slugs went 1-9 last year. In the major leagues, teams like the 1962 New York Mets, 2002 Houston Texans, or the 1998 Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Hopefully this doesn't happen to the Mighty Buffalo. If it does, they may be getting comparisons to the 1993 Anaheim Mighty Ducks.
Exhibit A: They could be really good- This is very unlikely, since the only team that has done this is the 1998 Chicago Fire. The Fire won the 1998 MLS Cup in their first season. They dominated the league in their Iaugural go-round and are considered one of the best expansion teams ever. The Buffalo would have big shoes to fill.
Exhibit B: They can be good, but not great- This happened last year with the Reapers. They could be like the Los Angeles Kings and make the playoffs but not make a big run. This has happened more than the first but is still hard to do.
Exhibit C: Middle of the pack- They may be like the Trojans of last year. Good but just kinda there. Like the San Diego Conquistadors in 1972, they could just chill in the middle and not make too much noise. Pretty much being an Average Joe isn't bad for an expansion team.
Exhibit D: Horrible- sadly, this is what happens to most first year teams. The Chuggin' Slugs went 1-9 last year. In the major leagues, teams like the 1962 New York Mets, 2002 Houston Texans, or the 1998 Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Hopefully this doesn't happen to the Mighty Buffalo. If it does, they may be getting comparisons to the 1993 Anaheim Mighty Ducks.
Head of State's Two Cents: Waterboy Classic by Joel Jochim 1/20/11
Just a short new idea proposal here. When we reach the end of a season, there is always two teams that are done for the season and just get to watch. But I think we should have the two teams that didn't make the playoffs play in a sort of "best of the worst" kind of thing. It shall be called the Waterboy Classic. This is because the team that wins the game would get to pour an ice cold bucket of water on each member of the losing team. I think it sounds like a good way to liven up the post season for the not so great teams. Just brain storming.
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
New Team, New Name. What Should It Be? by Jackson Bruce 1/18/11
As many of you know, the PWL is most likely expanding to 9 teams next year. The Moodies will be playing on this Team #9. Since this new franchise has yet to be announced I will tell you it is all but final and I'm all for it. With a new team, a new name will be needed. They can't be refered to as # 9 forever. I have a few possibilities for you to ponder.
Aztecs- How is this not a cool name? The Aztecs were beasts back in the day and its a cool name. Strasburg played for the San Diego State Aztecs and he's pretty much the man so I'm thinking this is a suitable name.
Fighting Squirrels- Epic. Squirrels live in Pierre so this is geographically respectable. Fighting is a part of the PWL so this also makes this name suitable to the league. Fighting Squirrels is a name that is suitable for the PWL.
Spumoni- for historical purposes I have added this one. The logo is being kept for a future expansion team, so maybe we could use it now. The team name doesn't make you think of success, but maybe it being the brand of a new franchise could change things.
Aztecs- How is this not a cool name? The Aztecs were beasts back in the day and its a cool name. Strasburg played for the San Diego State Aztecs and he's pretty much the man so I'm thinking this is a suitable name.
Fighting Squirrels- Epic. Squirrels live in Pierre so this is geographically respectable. Fighting is a part of the PWL so this also makes this name suitable to the league. Fighting Squirrels is a name that is suitable for the PWL.
Spumoni- for historical purposes I have added this one. The logo is being kept for a future expansion team, so maybe we could use it now. The team name doesn't make you think of success, but maybe it being the brand of a new franchise could change things.
Head of State's Two Cents: Semester Tests by Joel Jochim 1/12/11
Semester tests driving you to the breaking point? Me too. And as much as I would like to stand up in the middle of the test and say, “Screw this test. I’m playing wiffleball!!” and storm out of the room, I can’t. None of us can. Nevertheless, here is something to pick up your spirits. We are just 2 quarters of school away from sleeping in late, looking out the window and seeing colors other than white, grilling hotdogs, and of course the great pastime that is wiffleball. Only one semester in this prison they call school until we all get to make a run at the David M. Mullany Cups with our newly constructed teams. Don’t forget the new field either. We have VERY high hopes for that. But the season will be getting kicked into gear before school even gets out! In spring, the 2011 PWL Draft will be held and we will also be constructing the new field by then. So start getting ready for action-packed 2011 PWL season, because it is getting near. Well kinda...
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
Joel Jochim,
Head of State
Band of Brothers... Well One At Least by Jackson Bruce 1/10/11
In my previous columns, we have taken a look at the Chimps, Trojans, and Lumberjax. If I were to compare these PWL teams with professional teams, I could get some good comparisons. The Chimps are the Minnesota Vikings with the soap opera, the Trojans are the Toronto Raptors because they have yet to establish an identity and the Lumberjax are the Memphis Grizzlies because they flat out suck.
The Batborne are the Buffalo Bills. They have been to the Championship twice in a row and lost both times. The Bills went to the Super Bowl 4 years in a row, and lost each time. It could be more of a struggle than ever this year than any other year to get to the championship. They have stiff competition (Not a Ben joke it just so happens he plays in the same division and you know the story) with the Chimps, Trojans, and Reapers. With Joel Jochim as the only member of the team, the future is up in the air. But with the 2nd pick, they have a shot at a nice draft pick like A.J.
Look for the Batborne to still make the playoffs and still play for the Dakota Division pennant. They will have a good team if the draft goes well and the Reapers might be weak. The Chimps are uncertain also because of Cash Anderson, and the Trojans missed the playoffs last year. Plus, they have a B.A. alternate logo.
The Batborne are the Buffalo Bills. They have been to the Championship twice in a row and lost both times. The Bills went to the Super Bowl 4 years in a row, and lost each time. It could be more of a struggle than ever this year than any other year to get to the championship. They have stiff competition (Not a Ben joke it just so happens he plays in the same division and you know the story) with the Chimps, Trojans, and Reapers. With Joel Jochim as the only member of the team, the future is up in the air. But with the 2nd pick, they have a shot at a nice draft pick like A.J.
Look for the Batborne to still make the playoffs and still play for the Dakota Division pennant. They will have a good team if the draft goes well and the Reapers might be weak. The Chimps are uncertain also because of Cash Anderson, and the Trojans missed the playoffs last year. Plus, they have a B.A. alternate logo.
League of Debauchery... sorry, Douchebagery by Joe Snyder 1/5/11
First off, recently this league of friends has become more hostile than one certain Joe Snyder would like. Certainly a care free wiffle ball league of people who have been friends for who knows how long (average of 5.6 years, yes, I did calculate that out) wouldn’t get pissed at each other to point of being douches to each other, right?
WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! I don’t like seeing us friends fight, and it gets on my nerves when we do. I have been trying to wait this rough patch out, but you can now compare my patience to... oh, lets go with your virginity. You always thought it would be there, but one night you were feeling a little down about yourself and that special someone who “just wanted to be friends” came over with a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartels & James and woo hoo hoo! It was gone forever. Just like my patience is now.
I mean good god, I’m not saying we are perfect and will skip off into the sunset like in some Buddy Cop movie, but we are better than this. Granted, I too was initially upset with some things including but limited to the draft. But quickly realizing that b*tching about it wouldn’t do anything, I found my way to the next loophole, thereby avoiding conflict. So please everyone stop complaining because it will get you nowhere. I should know, I’ve done my fair share of it.
Secondly, we need to quit putting other league mates down. Jared’s recent almost retirement has made me realize that, even if we are joking, people can take it the wrong way. Take Nate, for instance. He knows how to take a joke, or a real insult as a joke. But who knows? He just might crack one day, and that wouldn’t end well, methinks.
With everyone in the league either complaining or arguing, things are taking a turn for the worse. The fact of the matter is this: you are what you eat. And this league clearly went out devoured a couple douchebags with a side order of b*tch. If the next couple of words from everyone aren’t “I’m Sorry”, then they will be “Oh my god my crotch, you’ve hit me in the crotch”
Sincerely,
Joe Snyder
P.S. As an interesting side note, I found that I couldn’t sleep last night, so, in order to pass the time, I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than this league arguing. Any way, I came up with people who call Wednesday “hump day”, and, of course, all Lindsay Lohan movies.
^^^Joel Jochim and 3 other friends like this status
WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! I don’t like seeing us friends fight, and it gets on my nerves when we do. I have been trying to wait this rough patch out, but you can now compare my patience to... oh, lets go with your virginity. You always thought it would be there, but one night you were feeling a little down about yourself and that special someone who “just wanted to be friends” came over with a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartels & James and woo hoo hoo! It was gone forever. Just like my patience is now.
I mean good god, I’m not saying we are perfect and will skip off into the sunset like in some Buddy Cop movie, but we are better than this. Granted, I too was initially upset with some things including but limited to the draft. But quickly realizing that b*tching about it wouldn’t do anything, I found my way to the next loophole, thereby avoiding conflict. So please everyone stop complaining because it will get you nowhere. I should know, I’ve done my fair share of it.
Secondly, we need to quit putting other league mates down. Jared’s recent almost retirement has made me realize that, even if we are joking, people can take it the wrong way. Take Nate, for instance. He knows how to take a joke, or a real insult as a joke. But who knows? He just might crack one day, and that wouldn’t end well, methinks.
With everyone in the league either complaining or arguing, things are taking a turn for the worse. The fact of the matter is this: you are what you eat. And this league clearly went out devoured a couple douchebags with a side order of b*tch. If the next couple of words from everyone aren’t “I’m Sorry”, then they will be “Oh my god my crotch, you’ve hit me in the crotch”
Sincerely,
Joe Snyder
P.S. As an interesting side note, I found that I couldn’t sleep last night, so, in order to pass the time, I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than this league arguing. Any way, I came up with people who call Wednesday “hump day”, and, of course, all Lindsay Lohan movies.
^^^Joel Jochim and 3 other friends like this status
Misery, Shame, and Nate Buscher by Jackson Bruce 1/3/11
I have covered the soap opera of the Chimps which took a turn after they traded Cash Anderson to the Trojans, also changing the Trojans column from last time. They are basically the same. Still a soap opera and still me talking smack. This next story hasn't changed since the Inaugural Season. The team name may have but the play is sad. One of the original four teams, the Oneida Lumberjax are, in two seasons, an overall 5-15. In pro sports they wouldn't fair too well. The Texans are the NFL worst at .333 winning percentage. MLB is the Rays with .399. The Oneida Lumberjax are a lowly .250 all time. Thats just bad. Is there room for hope? Maybe.
Jake Gunderson is one of the better rising stars in the league. Mr. Rage also hits Homers twice as fast as Nate Buscher. Nate has a career of five home runs. Dead last with people who played more than 5 career games. Nate wants to improve but just can't hit. Some days he shows flashes of improvement. He had a 2 homer game this past year, which matched his first year total. He needs to improve drastically for improvement. So what if they made the playoffs last year, they were still 4-6. They still sucked. I may be saying things differently if they could have pulled off the first round upset against the Crusaders, which they nearly did. Depending on the 3rd pick in the draft, this team isn't going anywhere without improvement from Buscher. Im calling you out Nate. Step it up buddy.
Jake Gunderson is one of the better rising stars in the league. Mr. Rage also hits Homers twice as fast as Nate Buscher. Nate has a career of five home runs. Dead last with people who played more than 5 career games. Nate wants to improve but just can't hit. Some days he shows flashes of improvement. He had a 2 homer game this past year, which matched his first year total. He needs to improve drastically for improvement. So what if they made the playoffs last year, they were still 4-6. They still sucked. I may be saying things differently if they could have pulled off the first round upset against the Crusaders, which they nearly did. Depending on the 3rd pick in the draft, this team isn't going anywhere without improvement from Buscher. Im calling you out Nate. Step it up buddy.
Sit Down. Shut Up. Read The Column - Drafting and Trading 1/3/11 by Jake Gunderson
There has been a lot of talk about different players starting different teams and people trading their draft picks for different people. Frankly, I AM SICK OF IT! If you are on a team, stay there. If you aren’t, then sit tight you will get a team. I mean come on people it is December. We have five or six months before we start playing. There is plenty of time. Just…..chill. BUT I AM SO RILED UP AT THESE PEOPLE. I don’t want to name any names (check the forum) it is just getting out of hand. If you have been reading the Forum (blog), then you know of whom I am speaking of. Now don’t get me wrong. I am all for player movement but there is a point where it just gets to be too much. If you want a person in the draft, then draft him when it is your turn. if you don’t get that person, then tough sh*t cowboy. Get over it. All in all, I don’t think that it is those people’s fault. The rules don’t clearly state the conditions of a trade. But you can’t just make up rules on the spot to try to keep yourself from losing. There should be some rules to try to keep the league even. I mean you all saw Spumoni struggle last season (NATE YOU SUCK!) and the scrubs dominated the league for the second year in a row. There should be a limit to the good people you can get. Does any one foresee Dowling in the Scrubs future? I think I do. But seriously people! We don’t need this much drama. What are we, the Vikings? No. If we were the Vikings, then we would all suck. All the games would end in a tie and all of our pitchers would be 40 years old and terrible. Anyway, back to my main point. Quit the drama and stop trading before we even start the season. I propose we make it a rule that you have play some games with your team before you are allowed to be traded.
Jake Gunderson,
Lumberjax
2010 Most Rage Award
Jake Gunderson,
Lumberjax
2010 Most Rage Award
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